Naturally a Pizzavore

In the wake of rising “-vore” usage across our ranging American foodscape of late—think Captain Pollan’s omnivore, the increasingly important locavore, etc.—I hereby submit a new category of “-vore” (from the Latin vorare, “to devour”) for posterity: the pizzavore.

Yes, I realize that I’ve admitted that I’m a pizzaholic, but considering the open-ended variety inherent in the pizza category, I confidently believe that I could exist (even healthily) as a pizzavore. Soon, others would inevitably join my group (I’m sure I’m not the only one...), and we’d hungrily roam our city streets in search of pizzaesque sustenance wherever it may be found, faces crazily smeared with an Italian flag of tomato, Alfredo and pesto sauces, tracking aromas of panzerotti, calzone, Italian casserole and pizza—with infinite degrees of crust, pan and stuffed to crispy, cracker-thin.

And now our ravaging band of pizzavores can officially add “natural” to its range of options.

Yes, a handful of retail and foodservice companies have already explored natural and organic pizza territory—with rather variable results (from passable to take a pass...)—but with Pizza Hut’s recent announcement, the category will undoubtedly see new life. Not only is the Hut debuting a “natural” selection of pizzas, it’s in the process of converting all ingredients to the natural category—a rather bold move.

Of course, most everyone in food knows that the word “natural” is about as definitive as a whirling dervish on roller skates in a dusky windstorm, but this move very well might help further define the category—to nitrate or not to nitrate (that is the question), high-fructose corn syrup (probably not), unrefined grains (that’s a yes), pesticide-free (likely, but with qualifiers), preservative-free (gray area, with natural preservatives likely OK), added flavors and colors (I’d go with “artificial” no, “natural” yes), an so on... A lot of room for debate here.

Although I personally see the move toward more natural-food options as a wholly positive thing, I’m just waiting for the first lawsuit to arise where someone feeds their chronically sedentary children on “natural” cookies, pizza, ice cream, cheeseburgers, etc. 24-7 and they develop cardiovascular disease at unprecedented youthful ages in the wake of morbid obesity. It’s just inevitable that some people will equate “natural” with “healthy” in the same way that folks initially connected “organic” with “healthy.”

Naturally, there are just some situations you cannot control.